The carpet was smaller than one might expect, although it was sufficiently red, and the woman standing on it was soft spoken, but radiant with confidence forged through decades of hard work. Gloria Gaynor was the star at the center of the 54th Nashville Film Festival’s opening night events. The documentary feature, “Gloria Gaynor: I WIll Survive,” directed by Betsy Schechter chronicled the Disco Queen’s rise to fame in the 1970, and followed her determined journey to fully embrace the refrain of her most famous song, “I will survive, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive”, by creating and self-producing a gospel album that would eventually earn her second Grammy Award in 2020. Many people asked her questions about what it means to be a survivor, but a better question may be, “How does love fuel survival?”
She describes herself as surviving and thriving in the film and her words are undeniable to anyone looking at the poised and gracious eighty-year-old Gaynor - including this first time film festival goer and podcaster in the outer orbit of her moment in the sun. I wasn’t sure what to ask a legend who had undoubtedly been asked every possible question about her music and personal life during the course of her nearly six-decade long career, but her golden-girl-meets-disco-royalty aura, with a dash of best-ever-guidance-counselor poise, calmed my nerves and opened my heart enough to step off of the press line and ask her the only question I really wanted to know. “Who would like to share your movie with, from any time or place?”
Faster than you can say disco ball, she answered, “My Mother, she was my rock-my backbone, just like my faith is my rock.” She went on to explain the importance of her relationship with God and how her mother modeled and shared her faith, until she passed away when Gloria was in her twenties. The shade of her mother stood beside us as we talked, and I couldn’t help but feel the presence of the woman Gaynor described as having an even more powerful voice than her own. Our exchange was brief, but its impact on me deepened as I watched her life unfold during the film. Her mother featured prominently in the movie, and even though time and death had separated the mother and daughter, it was clear that a large part of why Gloria is indeed thriving now is due to the impact of her mother’s love on her conviction that she is deserving of love, and capable of giving it to herself, when the well runs dry from others in her life.
“My Mother-she was my rock-my backbone, just like my faith is my rock.” when asked with whom she'd most like to share the film "Gloria Gaynor: I Will Survive".
“I didn’t stop loving him, I started loving myself,” she says straight to camera during the turn in the film, when she transitions from a life performing and living under the benign neglect and outright exploitation of her husband/manager to a life guided by self-love, a new ride-or-die manager from her home state of New Jersey, and a resurrected connection to her faith. Gloria Gaynor was finally making good on her assertion that she would survive. After turning sixty-five, she got a divorce, set out on a path to obtain a college degree in Psychology, and began production on an album in a genre that had frosty feelings to her disco past- Gospel. Thrive indeed, for decades she had been singing the battle cry of survivors, but it took a medical emergency paired with a spiritual awakening of her indepence to set her back on a path to herself. A path her mother had been walking with her in spirit through all the detours and disasters of life, and now she was invoked at a red carpet premiere at the Nashville Film Festival.
So much of Gloria’s story focused on her ability to survive, but I was most struck by the importance of her ability to continue loving and being loved. Although she lost her mother and sister prematurely, she held them in her heart and used their constancy as a north star to-eventually- point her towards other people who truly wanted to elevate and celebrate her greatness- her inherent worth. She described her marriage as being born from her fear of being alone, but when she realized her spirit and body were being broken by neglect, she realized being unloved was far worse than being alone. When she started loving herself, she opened the door to countless people who loved her as well. People who would help her heal and create again.
“How can I bottle this?” I wondered after the screening, while listening to Gloria’s music, and looking through the pictures I had taken of the woman who seemed to defy all odds by sheer force of will, hustle, and dignity. Does self-love really unlock survival? Can it be liberating? How can connections both hold us down and keep us together? I don’t have the benefit of Ms. Gaynor’s eighty years or the breadth of her experience, but I do have her film, and the lingering sound of her soft and steady voice reaching through time to pull her mother onto the red carpet with us. The film festival gave me this unique privilege and I won’t take it for granted. The way we honor legends like Gloria Gaynor, isn’t by setting them on a pedestal and admiring their accomplishments from a distance. It’s by standing alongside them in their times of glory and despair that we can from and celebrate their humanity that we can honor them.
The way we honor legends like Gloria Gaynor, isn’t by setting them on a pedestal and admiring their accomplishments from a distance. It’s by standing alongside them in their times of glory and despair that we can from and celebrate their humanity that we can honor them.
Performers are people, and legends are people magnified by popularity and all too often cast into history instead of our hearts. Part of why Gloria struggled to gain support getting her gospel album was because her legend outshone her earnest desire to create music that would inspire people to do more than dance. She wants to use music as a vehicle to deliver comfort to those in pain, and promise to those seeking faith. Director Betsy Schechter’s thoughtful handling of Gaynor’s story multiplied the impact of her drive to share her faith and model what it means to truly survive and thrive. Although I can’t bottle her stamina or duplicate her star power any more than I could hit the stratospheric notes she sings, I can look at my own network of people who form my social safety net, and ask myself, “Do these people love me well? Am I alone when I’m with them or am I lifted up?” Basically, are they helping me do more than just survive? Are the people in my life helping me thrive?
I’m grateful to say, I do have people who help me thrive. In the same way that Gloria Gaynor had her incomparable assistant and manager Stephanie Gold step into her life at just the right moment to reset and revitalize her career, I have my long-distance friend turned Screen Cares podcast partner Sarah Woolverton-Mohler who stepped into my life during the pandemic season of isolation and unlocked my creative confidence. She sparked my desire to step outside of my role as mom and educator and into a more full version of myself. A version of myself that gets to interview Gloria Gaynor on the red carpet at a film festival. Regardless of the size, carpets really can be magic. They are a place for connection, memories, and hopes for the future to be celebrated. Friends can be magic too. They can help her see your worth in ways a survival mindset simply doesn’t afford. When I’m lifting the load of life with people I love, I am able to take a breath long enough to enjoy the scenery. I can thrive in the moment, and find my way to my fullest self-just like Gloria Gaynor.
Movies help us connect to one another- even those who are no longer with us. Gloria’s mother would undoubtedly be proud to see her daughter surrounded by the people who helped her tell her story at the festival. She would probably be proud of her daughter for accepting, “Just one more question, please?” from a mom who moonlights as a podcaster and writer. These stories are important and sharing them is even more important, because they can teach us how to love ourselves and others. I feel truly fortunate to have had the magic of movies, friendship, and a special red carpet encounter at the Nashville Film Festival, Now, I feel the same obligation to share and keep writing my story like Ms. Gaynor.
“Gloria Gaynor: I Will Survive” is a coming of age story about a woman in her sixties, seventies, and eventually eighties finding her voice, after decades of singing from the top of her lungs. I hear you Ms. Gaynor. It’s never too late to fall in love with yourself. We all deserve people who love us enough to lift us up when we are down, and we are all capable of moving beyond surviving to the glory that is thriving.
